Living Will
(morbid though it may sound)

If I get killed and eaten by a wild cat (tigers, jaguars, lions, etc.) please don't kill the cat. To be part of such a life cycle would be scary but somehow majestic, and a more beautiful end than the car accident I'll probably get. (Just so you know, I hate cars.)

If I get killed and eaten by a shark, please kill the shark, gut it, feast on its fins, make necklaces from its teeth and let rot take the rest.

If I get murdered, don't push for the death penalty. I'll haunt them until they're old, and make them pay and pay and pay. If it's a kid, and it's accidental manslaughter (such as in a car accident) give them a second chance at life.

If I get into a coma, don't wait too long to pull the plug. I might enjoy the rest too much to ever wake up again. But if the doctors say my chances are good, read to me, and maybe that will lead me back.

If I die of blood poisoning or tetanus or something, you have my permission to sue the heck out of my employers. :P

If you ever need to send me to a care home, don't feel too bad about it; I forgive you in advance. (But take note that I will now try my best to stay out of a care home, and if I grow old and start being grumpy and staying at home too much, kick my ass and tell me to watch "Up" and get a life.)

Donate what can be donated of my body, though don't inflict my eyes on anyone. I don't want to be embalmed; cremate or bury me if you wish. But don't spend too much on fancy coffins. I'd rather get to the earth as soon as I can. In fact, if you bury me with worms, that would be amazing. (Intellectually speaking. The visual creeps me out.)

Of my writings, keep my poetry, and my ramblings about my poetry. Discard the rest. Please discard the rest. I dream of giving journals over unto the next generation, but you could just print this blog if you wish. Everything else I have written is just so much crap. As for my fanfic, um, that's up to you.

Take from my books what you like, and what you don't, give to the Salvation Army or some such. If you want to keep anything for sentimental reasons, take your pick from the books on poetry.

I would like my sister MG to be the Speaker for the Dead at my wake. (Read Card if you want to learn more about it.) You don't have to paint a pretty picture of my life; just be a little kind. And play "Asleep" by the Smiths. (Or other versions.) If I get a tombstone, you can pick the quote from whichever book you like, although I am partial to a Taoist idea: It is the dark within the dark; the gateway of all craft.

If you get any money from well-wishers, divide them among my sisters. If you wish to donate to a charity instead, consider picking one in the Philippines, or giving to Office of Letters and Light (Nanowrimo), or to any poetry organization in BC, or the David Suzuki Foundation.

I may have had misgivings about faith and what comes next. But even so, I do not fear death. And if you must mourn me, do so by celebrating life in all its glorious complexities. Eat delicious food. Read amazing books and lots of poetry. Sing. Dance. Frolic. And wherever I am (will be), I will be content.

This started out as a joke, but it's all (mostly) true.